Tuesday, November 24, 2009

How do you know?



Chris and I are the blessed parents of 3 beautiful children...
Once upon a time, due to personal circumstances, I thought I would only have 1 child...just me and my girl and that was fine...


...then I met Chris and he adopted Jess...so 2 became 3...and soon after we were 5, when Max and Eva came along in quick succession.


We decided a long time ago that 3 was enough for us (probably when Eva had had her 5th tantrum of the day!) but we never got around to making things 'final'.

So here we are 5 years later, and we have finally decided to really get things 'sorted'. And Chris (reluctantly; as he hates hospitals) has said he would bite the bullet and get 'the snip'. It was what we both wanted.
I feel like I am finding 'Me' again - I am no longer only "Mum". We are after all entering a new phase in our family, where we can all go to the movies, play boardgames together or just hang out - I love it.

So why when, my husband calls my mobile to tell me that he has an appointment to see the doctor, do I burst into tears in the supermarket?

What's that all about!?

I am done with bibs and bottles and teething and potty training...
I am done with sleepless nights and early rising...
But I am that woman who can't hear a baby cry without her womb contracting.
I can't help cooing at an infant in a restaraunt or bending down to talk to a toddler in the mall
I am eternally broody.
I am not saying I am even thinking about having another baby. I know that from my reaction when we've had 'scares' over the passed 5 years - and there have been a few! Apart from anything else, we can't afford another child. At the moment we are putting one through college and 2 through private schooling - all on my husband's salary. Something I know he could do with a hand with; not possible with a new addition to the family...
...But the thought of there being no possibility of ever having another baby, frankly, scares me.
So, my question to you lovely ladies (especially those of you who have already been down this road) is...
...How do you know when you're done?
B x
(I don't know where I got the image from; sorry)

19 comments:

Kitschy Coo said...

I can relate to this post so much. We just have two but I've been so broody lately. I think the urge for babies is biological and the sadness is that of something being over... Friends of ours had the snip after four kids, and she is profoundly sad that it is over.

I know we can't afford another baby and I have doubts whether I could even cope with three, and then there's the space issue and the travel issue and the... gah. It's not rational, but it is a real desire.

jennifer elaine said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
pixielation said...

I've got two, and I love them dearly and don't feel that anything is missing. But I did want three, and maybe - if I accidently did get pregnant again - it would be wonderful. But we are not trying for it. I have a coil to prevent it from happening.

But that's not a permanent thing - I think that it would be a little scary to do something so final. Even thought we will probably never have another child, and don't want to.

Melissa B. said...

I guess I first realized I was done when the youngest came into the family room, sat down, and said, "Mom, can I borrow the car?" SITS sent me by, and I'm glad they did...

Monsters, Inc.

Carrie said...

Good question. Like you, I thought I was done at one due to circumstances beyond my control. Then, surprise! Baby #2 is due in May. This time I think I'm really done, but I'm sure when I say that someone is laughing somewhere...

Stopping by from SITS!

christina @ sage creek said...

oh... this post really tugged at my heartstrings. we have three babies and i know how very blessed i am. but at the same time, the thought of never feeling that flutter of the first kick, the miracle of new life... is any mom ever ready to not feel that again? my husband & i were at the same crossroads last year and when the day came, we ended up canceling at the very last minute. i wasn't ready for the finality of it all. even though my husband insists more babies aren't in our future, at least i can still have that little spark of hope in my heart.

Kaylovesvintage said...

sounds like that you will have some me-time soon.

enjoy your little family

Fresh Mommy said...

I'm not there yet, but I really do think that even when you're ready to be done, you'll never fully be ready to make it final... there's just too much of 'mom' built in.

Kristin said...

I feel you. I don't know if I'll ever feel like I'm done. The hubs wants two and snip snip. NOT happening. Ah ha ha

Tammy said...

Stopping by from SITS!! Looks like I found a great new site to follow too!! I have not had any children yet but hope to someday be blessed with at least one healthy child. So I cannot offer you any advice... just that you know when it is right when you feel it, in your heart and soul.

The Blonde Duck said...

I haven't had any yet...but I think this would be a hard question!

Sarah said...

Gosh! I only have one but I can already understand the anxiety you feel...it just seems so...final

Cristina said...

I know I know I know!!!

I've already gotten "lasered" and I still want more.

We have 5 - him, mine and ours. Our youngest is two and the closer he gets to being completely out of diapers the more freaked out I get. Not like there is much I can do about it, but I still long for little outfits, tiny hands wrapping around my finger and cooing.

It's so tough.

Popped in from SITS.

xx

Cristina

koralee said...

Hi my friend...some how I missed this post of yours. I can so relate to your feelings. I think as a women you feel this way but time goes on and you get to the age where it's ok. Hope all is well and you are getting ready for the Christmas season..it must be beautiful where you live...so magical. Take care.

Emma Louise said...

I cant relate to this quite yet (Maybe in 10years time?) But it's something I've always wondered, When do you know how many children to stop at? Will I just have the feeling.. Will I keep having children til I cant cope anymore?
It is such a hard question! Em x

Emma Louise said...

I cant relate to this quite yet (Maybe in 10years time?) But it's something I've always wondered, When do you know how many children to stop at? Will I just have the feeling.. Will I keep having children til I cant cope anymore?
It is such a hard question! Em x

prashant said...

. Friends of ours had the snip after four kids, and she is profoundly sad that it is over.

Work from home India

kanishk said...

I have not had any children yet but hope to someday be blessed with at least one healthy child.

Wagyu Steak

The Flying Bee said...

I can so relate. We are going through this right now. My hubby thinks he should get "the snip", and sometimes I do too, but when it comes down to actually taking the step and getting it done, we both chicken out. I love my three boys so much, but wonder about having a girl, but another boy would be okay, too! Ummm...I guess I am not much help here! :)

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