Watching the world go by...

Cookie is hanging out in her favourite place. She likes to sit and watch the world go by.

Actually seeing her sitting there, kind of reminds me of what last year felt like to me. It was the year I said I'd do more, yet for whatever reason, I remained somewhat disconnected. Sometimes I find it easier to say 'no' so that I don't have to deal with new/difficult situations. This year I plan to spend more time saying 'yes'.

This year I am making a pledge. I will get involved. Be part of the action. Join the party!

                                                                                                         *Pinterest

Now, Cookie and I are off to join the doggie party - we're going for a walk!

Hugs, B X

Man, I feel like a woman!

Source: flickr.com via Michelle on Pinterest

Saw this today on Pinterest and having spent the last week admonishing myself for not sticking to my
pre-Christmas diet, suddenly things don't look too bad. Curves are where it's at! Time for another glass of Baileys me thinks....


B x

Sorting it out...

Recently, I bought these beautiful suitcases at a local flea market, which were filled with lots of gorgeous loveliness.

While I sit here, sorting through my new pretties, I find myself having a

bit of a tussle with my conscience.

It’s nothing new really.

The same tussle I have every year...every month, sometimes even on a daily basis.

The usual one that goes something like this...

”What am I doing here? The kids are getting bigger. They’re at school all day, they need me less and less. I could be out. Meeting people. Earning my own some extra money. Doing MY THING.” Except, I’m not sure what ‘my thing’ is.

10 years ago I was carving a career in the media world. I worked in television.

It was fun. Exciting. I met my Mr Right there.

I felt like I was at the centre of the universe in that office. As though our decisions meant everything.

Now I realise that as fun it was, it really isn’t the be-all and end-all. And I’ve moved on.

Being there for my kids is the most important thing to me. But I also need to feel fulfilled. My business dreams seem to have stalled- I’ve lost direction...

But as I sit here and try to decide what to do with my future and while I sort my lace into pretty piles I think...”filing was never this fun at the office!”

Telling it like it is...THE big 4-0

I worry.

I worry about what people think about me.

Quite a lot.

It's my weakness.

I've been saying for ages that I would show you guys my revamped kitchen floor...

But I have procrastinated- I'm very good at that.

In my warped mind, I would rather show you my floor when it's looking bad. Then I figure you won't judge (as we all agree it looks bad) Lately I've been taking a long hard look at myself. Another thing I have noticed is I really avoid putting pictures of myself on here. I look at other blogs I follow and people have pics of themselves and their outfit for the day etc and I am in awe of their confidence. I convince myself people would be picking me apart. I need to stop that.

Tomorrow, I turn 40. I think this is a really grown up age. An age when I should be comfortable in my own skin. Caring less about the things that don't matter. So in honour of the occasion...

Welcome to my kitchen...

I'm honestly not angry or upset in this picture, I just find it really difficult to smile without looking like a total goofball! Also, I was cooking an omlette and burnt the pan - doh!

I think the floors look so much better that the old laminate. The house was built in 1840 and these are original boards - very cool.

My new photo wall is getting there, I do need more pics though. I would like to cover alot of that wall. The heart on the right I made with assorted red buttons.

As you can see, the hearth were the cooker goes has been uncovered and needs to be stripped and then painted bright red which is what it would have looked like originally.

I love this gorgeous big window, I can look out at the barn and the garden while I'm doing the dishes. Excuse the mess on the side...I was cooking my omlette remember!?

My favourite hand towel on the left by PIP Studio.

I got this R from a charity shop, they had sold out of B's!

                                                                    See...total goofball!

Wishing you all a lovely weekend.

Hugs,

B x

Confessions of a thirty-something...

This week has been a bit of a blur. Not, as you would be forgiven for thinking, because the kids are at home and I've been getting ready for a market. Both of those things are true, but that is not the reason for my recent lack of focus. No, the real reason is rather more embarrassing. As I told you; Friday was Chris' birthday, on Saturday we had a party.

We celebrated...I celebrated...hard.

Sunday morning was horrific. And Monday only marginally better. I lost 5 pounds in weight (not such a bad thing!) and suffice to say I won't be touching alcohol for some time. I think the children thought I had caught a tropical disease! There is, in my possession, photographic evidence to prove that I should know better. However, for obvious reasons, I chose to post this one...

That's me on the left with my younger sister Hannah. Oh, I wish I could go back and remind myself to drink water! Anyhow, confession over, all in all the night was a great success. We had a lot of fun and caught up with some old friends. You only live once right!?

Thursday I was at the Berkhamsted Castle Village Market. I've never been there before and although it was a rather small event, the turn out wasn't too bad and I was happy that I'd made the effort to go. I sold all of my cushions (except one) and quite a few other bits and pieces. And I have some lovely vintage-style lavender bags that I will be adding to Folksy this weekend.

Next week is going to be a toughie. My girl is going away. Jess will be going off to Uni in September and her plan, since we moved back to the UK has been to go back and spend a fun-filled month with all her friends back in Canada. That day has almost come and on Tuesday I will put her on a plane by herself (for the first time) and wave goodbye to my pal. She has spent this past year at college and holding down 2 jobs to save the money for this trip and to say we're proud of her would be an understatement!

I will miss her - she knows that. But I want her to have the most fun a girl with a big smile and a good heart can have - love you Jess.

My apologies for the rambling post; I had some things I needed to get off my chest!

Love to you all,

B x

Mr Sunshine...

Dear Mr Sunshine,

I can't tell you how pleased I am to have you back in my life. I know you may think me needy and obsessive, but I really can't live without you. When I wake up with you you give me strength to face the day. You give me confidence and make me take more care of myself. People even say I look more radiant when you're around.

The problem I have at the moment is with your lack of commitment. One minute you're here and then the next I don't see you for like..a week. That cannot be considered a healthy relationship. Are you with someone else? I need you to be around more. Please... you make me so happy.

All my love, forever.

B x

Happy Birthday to me...!

Off to Copenhagen for my birthday - soooo excited!

See you when I get back - with lots of pictures.

Byeeeee!

B x

Pretty Little Things...

I really am enjoying making the little skirts and dresses that I have been creating recently for Little Bee but...

...skirts have to be sized and measured and stuff...

So, as a creative break I have been making these pretties...

...who doesn't love pink frills...

...made with love?

Oh, and I managed it; my whole week of blogging. I have to say it wasn't too bad. I actually think I became more creative and thoughtful during the process and I was expecting the opposite.

I couldn't fail to notice the lack of comments though, I tell/told myself that it wasn't about the comments. But looking back at my old posts I have to say I still can't work out the 'key' to writing a post worthy of readers' input. Some of my old posts which I would have expected to fly under the radar seem to have attracted lots of comments and others - that I really felt I'd put my life and soul into went practically unnoticed. Weird. I'd be grateful for any insight from you guys - that's got to be one way to get more comments!

Anyway, I'm pleased with my progress this past week. On the Little Bee front; I will be going to my first market next week. So, I'm busy making stock for that. It is in aid of Haiti, so helping a great cause too. I will be selling lavender bags, skirts, dresses and my new frilly pillows - it should be fun!

And this Friday is my birthday. I will be jetting off for a weekend break with my lovely hubby. I'm soooo excited, we are off to Copenhagen!

Wishing you all a fabulous week,

B x

Good Morning Sunshine!

Sunshine. It's been so long since my bones drank that golden elixir!

So, when I woke up this morning and saw these gorgeous glistening rays through my window I was up in a flash.

It's funny, I always complain about our bedroom. It's so small compared to our old bedroom in Canada. And the fact that we insisted on bringing our huge North American bed with us doesn't help matters...

I have this little joke that I tell when people ask what it's like going from a large Canadian home to an English cottage...I always say; " Our bedroom's so small, I can draw the curtains with my bum on my way to bed" not hugely funny, but actually very true. Although, I'm not sure if that tells you more about the size of our room or the size of my bum!!!

Anyway, I woke up this morning with the light streaming through my window and I though; how lucky I am to live here. In this house. In this life.

I love my bed, my bedroom and my big bum!

See you tomorrow,

B x

Merry Christmas...

picture taken this morning on the moor

The news I've been waiting for... it was good...it was great...

A few weeks ago my Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was booked in for surgery immediately.

Then, we had to wait...to wait and see if the test would show if the cancer had spread into her lymphnodes.

Yesterday we got the results...she got the all clear.

...I can't put into words how I've been feeling the past few weeks...

but now... I am truly...

thankful.

Merry Christmas to all of you, from all of us at Pear Tree Cottage.

B x

My special place

It may not be much to look at

but this place has been my sanctuary

my calm in the storm

I'll be sorry to leave it behind, but I'll be sure to find a new quiet place; just for me and my thoughts.

Do you have somewhere you go to 'get away from it all'?

Those precious moments...

This morning as I stepped out of the shower...

Eva: Mummy, can you help me with my tie?

Me: Of course hon.

As I crouch down to adjust her tie Eva stares at me adoringly

Eva: Oooooh, I love you!

Me: And I love you.

Eva: I even love your big fat boobies.

Don't you just love those precious moments?

Live large, B x

My secret love

Guys, I have something to tell you; please don't judge me - just hear me out....As you may already know, my husband is away at the moment. He has started a new job in London and I have found myself lonely and with time on my hands. I'm afraid that this has caused me to stray and I don't know what to do about it. I blame some of you ladies out there (and you know who you are) you showed me pictures and it was love at first sight. I dreamed about being formally intruduced, about the first time, and how I would feel afterwards. I teased myself with the possibilities. But I knew it was just a dream; my love was far away... in America. Then I heard last week that my hearts desire was coming to town; to my town! I prepared myself. I planned the day. I dropped the kids at school, put my best dress on (even though I knew I wouldn't be wearing it for very long) and I drove to meet my new love and it was all that I dreamed it would be - and more!



My heart belongs to ANTHROPOLOGIE!



Please keep this to yourselves; if Chris finds out it could mean the end of my marriage.

Thanks!

B x

It's good to be back...

I wanted to start by saying "thank you" to you all for your wonderful advice on "How old is too old?" it's just good to get other people's perspective on things once in a while, you know? And I got some really lovely and unexpected compliments as well - cheers guys, you are so nice! Actually it was perfect timing because I've spent the best part of this week with a Kleenex stuffed up my left nostril, unbrushed hair, no make up and a flea bitten old tracksuit on...I've been sick. I don't 'do' sick very well actually. I think it's because it doesn't happen that often and as I am a bit of a control freak; I find it hard to come to terms with the fact that there is nothing I can do, but take my vitamins and wait for it to pass. It didn't help that it was the week Chris left for London. I have mentioned before that we are moving back this year, well he has gone already. To a shiny new job and an office over looking the Thames; I'm very proud of him. He will be coming back from time to time for weekend visits. However, that leaves me to keep things ticking over here until school's out, as well as trying to sell the house. A cold (or "THE FLU'" as I like to call it) was not on the agenda. But the show must go on, and on it did...I accepted an offer on the house! I know it's not over 'til the fat lady sings but I can definitely hear her warming up; so fingers crossed :o)

There are, however, some fabulous benefits to being sick in my house. On these occasions Eva has decided that I get to have as many stories read to me as I want...

and only when I'm sick am I was allowed to fiddle with little fingers

and diddy toes, to my hearts content...

it's not all bad being sick after all!

How old is too old?

Guys, I need your help and your honesty. I am a 'fashion conscious mother' with a teenage daughter, in my mid (to late) thirties and I have a dilemma. How old is too old to wear clothes like this...

...and if my daughter is starting to wear this kind of thing does that mean I should stop? The problem I have is that in my head I am still 19...23 at the oldest...and with a 17 year old of my own we are at that stage where we are very likely to go out in virtually the same outfit. I have seen those women out there who look like mutton dressed as lamb and I really don’t think I’m being like that. I don’t wear miniskirts; I couldn’t if I tried- unless I wanted to be arrested for indecent exposure. But I think I’ve still got ‘it’ and I don’t want to be old before my time. However, I don’t want to look like one of those Mums who is trying to compete with her own child! It makes me mad that I feel like I can’t wear funky stuff for fear of what others might think. What makes things worse is that I have friends who don’t have children (or their kids are still very young) and it’s totally ok for them to still be hip, but having a child who will soon be going to uni (yikes!) I kind of wonder if people think I look a bit sad dressing like my daughter.

So my question to you is; how old is too old AND does it make a difference what age your children are?

Go on, sock it to me- I can take it!
B

Pillow talk

I think it has super powers. Even when I'm deep in sleep it calls to me from the other side; tells me how good things can be over there. I will be cooler. I will be calmer. Things are so much better 'over there'. And I know it's right; I can't resist its call. So, in the dead of night, when nothing else can wake me... I lift my head... and flip; to the other side of my pillow. BLISS!